Dr. Siegal Bribes Donna Simpson Not to Reach 1,000 Pounds

By Brandi Koskie

The appalling news that Donna Simpson is working diligently to become the heaviest woman in the world has been met with shock and awe. Her current weight is more than 600 pounds, and she consumes 12,000 calories each day to help her reach a deadly goal of weighing 1,000 pounds. A 12,000-calorie diet is absurd consumption for a human; that’s what some adults should eat in an entire week! A 2007 Guinness Book of World Records title holder for being the world’s biggest mother, Donna has the support of her boyfriend in what is no doubt a catastrophic endeavor.

As people near and far reach out pleading with her to rethink this “project,” one well-known weight loss professional is hoping a bribe will lure her back to reality and put a stop to this “prolonged suicide.”

Dr. Sanford Siegal is the world-renowned weight-loss expert behind the popular Dr. Siegal’s Cookie Diet. The Cookie Diet uses fiber- and protein-rich cookies and shakes in this meal replacement weight loss program. According to a press release published March 26, 2010, Siegal is offering to pay Donna to put a stop to the weight gain, but has also offered to pay her to lose weight.

The press release states that a certified letter has been sent to Donna outlining the terms of Dr. Siegal’s generous offer:

  • She will be paid $10,000 to immediately stop trying to gain weight and agree not to resume doing so in the future
  • She must begin a weight-loss diet under a doctor’s supervision
  • She will be paid $10,000 for every 100 pounds Donna loses until she reaches 200 pounds, at which point she will have received a total of $50,000.

“When I first heard about Donna Simpson’s plan to reach a weight of 1,000 pounds I thought it was a joke. Then I read the news reports and realized she was serious. I was appalled,” said Dr. Siegal. “I understand that people are encouraging this woman on Twitter and other social media sites, and that some food companies may even be jumping on the bandwagon. In my opinion, anyone who encourages this dangerous stunt is essentially guilty of assisted suicide.”

Dr. Siegal outlines two stipulations for Donna’s weight loss:

  1. It must be doctor-supervised.
  2. It may not be weight loss surgery.

“As for how you lose the weight, that’s up to you. I don’t care which method of weight loss you choose as long as it doesn’t involve surgery (let’s not try to correct one ill-advised action with another) and is approved by your doctor. If you wish to follow Dr. Siegal’s COOKIE DIET, which has worked very well for generations of dieters, I’ll provide for free the cookies and shake mixes that will keep your hunger in check as you follow a reduced-calorie diet. Also at your option, I’ll recommend a physician in New York City who uses Dr. Siegal’s COOKIE DIET in his practice and who I believe would treat you at no cost,” states Siegal in the press release.

Whether Simpson accepts Dr. Siegal generous and life-saving offer is anyone’s guess. Skeptics suggest she’s after fame and fortune, which makes an offer like this possibly more appealing. Then again, maybe she’s after another Guinness title.